Monday 12 April
Wow for once I'm writing this blog at a reasonable time of day!
The sun is out and has been for a few days now and it always picks me up a bit and makes me want to eat more healthy things - deffinatly a bonus as I'm on a 'healthy living' plan (the word diet is not allowed)
I'm in a munching mood (again) but I'm not craving bad things, just want to pick all the time which I can handle as long as I make sensible choices. The amount of fruit and veg I'm eating I should be a twig by this time next week.
I should n't have weighed today! I was n't meant to cause I'm sticking to a thursday weigh in at the group - so how come I did weigh? And while I'm asking questions how come I'm 3 bloody pounds heavier when I've had the best week on the plan so far!! I'm quite matter afact about it - firstly its start week so a gain is not a true gain and secondly I'm doing well, eating the right things so it will come off even if the scales are not showing that.
I went Adsa shopping again for more strawberrys - they are just so nice at the moment and the fact that they are a super speed food certainly does it for me too - we are spending about 10 pounds a day on them at the moment but don't worry thats between me hubby and 6 kids so its not too extreme!
I'm off to munch, munch and munch, no big deal, fat free yoghurt more baked beans and some more strawberrys I think - Its all free food but I do wonder if there is a limit to how much you can have before it affects your weight lol
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why does that always happen to me?????? I typed a load of stuff then pressed something and its all bloody gone!
I was talking about baked beans - lets talk about the negatives of beans before we look at the postives. I'm having major trumping issues - not only do they smell disgusting (sorry kids, especially Haydar for blaming you) but they give off enough heat to warm up the whole ground floor of the house!! (Appologies once again if thats just a tad too much information :S) The weather is warming up, we don't need extra heat - sorry but I do love beans even with this negative side effect. Beans on toast, beans and mash, beans egg and chips, jacket potato and beans yum yum Baked beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart.............. Grow up Alia, your 37, not 4 lol
I was thinking about extreme plastic surgery - I mean for example why can't I just get my stomach cut off and the skin stretched up and sewn back together. That would give me so much release straight away - I've even thought about doing it myself and what it would entail, of course not that I ever would (no need for straight jackets please) In my nievity I imagine there are no major blood vessels there etc so it would be pretty simple.... scary stuff, it is n't going to happen is it?? I've seen it done on TV, I think I'm a deserving cause, any volunteers?
I'm going, I've got back ache from hell and a tummy that's trying to match my back - time of the month and all that, I love it, its the only time in the month where I can act like a first class demon and get away with it (my husband would beg to differ and say its no different to other times!)
:)
Tuesday 13th April
Why am I feeling hungry - I mean its not real hunger its like hunger behind hunger if that makes sense, actually it probably does n't but its really quite hard to explain - its like I have a full stomache but behind that is an empty space - I got it! I'm a kangaroo :P I've got a pouch, a spare pouch that does n't get filled - well technically I do have a pouch since my surgery. I'm not really worried about it cause I'm feeling really focused at the moment and even if I do snack its on things that I am allowed but I'd rather I did n't feel hungry at all. It's kind of weird how it works cause I can go all day hardly eating things, not intentionally but just because I'm so busy but by evening time I really need food - for example today, all day long I was busy and I only managed to squeeze in a mug shot and a banana. At 5.30 I had mash and beans, quite a big portion and I've since had 2 alpen light bars (actually one and a half cause Haydar pinched half of one) and some melon but I'm feeling so so hungry and know I'll have a few more things before bed. Its ok technically cause I've had no sins today yet, and only one of my healthy b options plus I have my free food aswell. I need to get my head around this business that eating alot of the right kind of thing is wrong - I CAN EAT IT!!!!!! See if I was to use my sins on say a chocolate bar I'd feel like I had done something wrong but if its within my plan then its ok - why do I think like that and what can I do to make me change my way of thinking???
Hubby and I had the what if discussion - what would be the first thing you would buy if you won the lottery (bearing in mind we don't do the lottery cause its haram but we can dream eh) So what is the first thing I would buy? Firsly I'd buy my mum a nice bungalow in the country somewhere and furnish for her with every possible thing she might need and employ a cleaner for her and give her enough money for her to have an easy stress free life - I never really aknowledge how much my mum has done for me in my life but she deserves so much more than I can ever give her and sometimes I hate the fact that she is working at this stage in her life. She did retire but got bored and went back to work - my mum is n't one who can sit around doing nothing but I'd make sure she could be free to enjoy her time in any way she wanted - I can just picture her on a beach in dubai and playing golf on the top of Burj al Arab! So thats what I would do first then it would be time to do some serious shopping!!! House comes first http://www.homesgofast.co.uk/properties/large-houses-for-sale-essex-england-P123532029/ Something along those lines would do very nicely thank you!! Few cars, don't want anything really flash, X5 would be good. I could go on and on but pipe dreams and all that - what's material things if you have your health and thats the whole point of this new healthy living plan - improve my health and lengthen it - after all, 6 kids, just imagine the grand kids I'm going to have!!! Actually I think I'll need to do the lottery just to buy their Eid presents!! Holy cow, I dont want to think that far ahead!!
Time for me to shoot, stomach is growling so need to have something before I sleep - oh yes so thrilled at the prospect of some fat free yoghurt!
Wednesday 14th April
BLEEP!! @@??!$£ (swearing)
I had a good day today, just a totally crap night!! Did everything the same as I usually do but after seeing a half eaten chocolate lindt bunny upstairs I lost it big time - I'm not even going to list what I ate but suffice to say that I had 64 spare sins that I have n't used during the week and I probably managed to use the lot!! What WILL be different this time is that I've accepted what I did and probably worked out WHY I did it and I'm using tomorrow as a totally fresh day and not going to dwell on it and make a bad day into a bad week. This was the first time ever in my dieting history that I've actually worked out the sins of what I had and seen it for what it was - its star week for a start and I've learnt from this blip and I realise that I really have to start giving myself a few treats during the week so I don't end up having these blow outs. Even if its just a mini milky way or something each evening I think its needed - I've never been brave enough to do that, always convincing myself that if I have one bit of chocolate I won't be able to stop. I've never actually tried that but what have I got to lose, I'm going to go for it and see how it works out - it may go terribly wrong but I have to try it - One small chocolate bar each evening on the condition that I have the sins availible and that its all I'm allowed - I need to change my line of thought for this to actually work - TREATS ARE ALLOWED AND DON'T MEAN I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG I need to drum it into my head.
I was thinking last night about the whole syn thing and slimming world plan. Do I truely believe that you can eat as much free food as you want, plus the healthy A and 2 B choices plus the sins and still lose weight????? I'm not sure that I do believe it but my brain knows it works. Surely if you really over dose on free food you are going to be having so much food that the calories taken in will be higher than is needed and that it will stop your weightloss. Urghhhhhhhhh I've done slimming world for so many years but I've never really thought about it in depth. I need to really sort this out in my head and give it a test - If I'm feelign hungry (most of the time at the moment) then I can eat something, free food even if I've used up all my syns during the day - after all that's what attracted me to slimming world in the first place that there was never going to be a time when there was nothing that I could eat. Even if I've had a blip and gone over my syns say by lunch time I have to teach myself that I dont have to blow it for the rest of the day, I should continue on the plan and maybe just restrict some syns the next day so my blip can be fitted into the programme. This seems good on paper but will I really be able to change my whole way of thinking and put these things in to practise. I think I really have to if I'm going to be able to continue with this plan long term as I do not want to do it for a few months then lose my way and end up giving up. This is all new for me, I've never truely thought about this or put it into action. In a way its good I had the blip as its made me really think about my whole attitude to the plan.
Here's to a blip free, controlled healthy living plan!!
Thursday 15th April
Whoop Whoop Whoop!!! Are n't I a clever girly!! 8lbs off so 1 stone 9lbs now. I actually felt I had lost weight cause when I was walking round tesco today my back wasn't aching so much! Its really given me the push to have another excellent week, hopefully this time without the blip. I'm just going to do the same thing as I've been doing this week so hopefully I'll have a good loss next week too - I'm realistic, I'm not expecting 8 lbs every week but its all good, I'll be happy with 3.
I'm going to start excersising..... a profound statement from me who drives around Crown Point instead of walking from one shop to another on the other side, well no more, I'm going to start parking further away from the shop I need to go to so I can start introducing some gentle excercise. Baby steps, no way this big momma can start running yet - or even in the near future but we all have to start somewhere.
My group I'm attending is deffinately different to the previous group I was a member of. They talk more and I think they are all alchoholics! All they talk about is the booze they have had during the week - I've go an advantage on that score I guess, syns from alchohol is not something I have to worry about so that puts me ahead right away. I admit I left early tonight, I'd heard enough lol I need to find my place in it but as weeks go by it will get easier. Of course I'm the only one there wearing a scarf so I'm totally different from every one else right away but who cares, maybe I'll be the first muslim woman to win slimmer of the year! :)
Friday 16th April
Food wise I've had a fantastic day foodwise, been so good and was totally focused. The 8lbs loss this week really spurred me on, long may it continue. It was a beautiful day today, got the washing out and for the first time this year it actually dried. Can't believe how warm it was today, summer is finally on the way.
Some one said today that they could see I've lost weight, personally I think that's bullshit, yes 1 stone 9 is alot but in the grand scheme of things its nothing! So cheers luv much appreciated!
I'm not going to write loads here today, just a normal uneventful day just been good on my plan and thats it basically!
Saturday 17th April
The weather was just amazing today! Made me want to get a paddling pool out and lounge in it like a beached whale - don't panic, I wouldn 't do that to any one, the shock may just be too much!! I'm not sure you can actually get a paddling pool that big anyway :P
I need to start making sure that I eat at the proper times - today I had hardly anything all day and then as usual come night time I started eating all the things I should have eat during the day. Don't get me wrong, I did n't eat anything I should n't have done, I just had my 2 hb choices plus free food and 3 syns on salad cream. Need to make sure I have my A choice cause I've been lacking in that for a few days and my bones need to suck up all that calcium!
I think I was good beyond good today - we went out to the park as it was a totally beautiful day today and decided to get Mcdonalds to take to the park to eat. I had nothing, not even one little chip - I can't say I was n't tempted, Haydar's fish fingers made me salivate but how focused was I! I love it when I'm this focused, just wish that I could focus myself to eat more during the day and say after 9pm eat nothing at all. I've always been a night time muncher so I need to think of some things to put into place to stop me doing that - maybe if I eat all the things I'm supposed to eat during the day then I will not be hungry enough to actually want to eat at night.
I am noticing little changes - I've lost a stone and a half and I can feel it in my walking a bit - my back does n't seem to ache so quickly and I'm not in as much pain at night either - still very painful but i'm hoping with each pound off I'll be heading to a less painful existence.
I was thinking today about things that I'm looking forward to about losing weight. I'd luv to see my C-Section scar without using a mirror lol - its been part of me for nearly 17 years but hidden behind my flesh hahhaaa - actually I've also got an appendix scar that would be nice to see that too! I'd also like to be able to have a decent bath without touching the sides and creating a dam like situation with the water. Oh and I'd luv my abayah to be less like a parachute - here's hoping :P
Sunday 19th April
Weather was nice again today although not as nice as it was yesterday. Spent most of the day cleaning and Ironing, it never seems to stop, its the bain of my life lol
Food wise things were good, still really focused and enjoying the new amount of engery that I seem to have - deffinately down to good eating habits I think, suprising how much of a difference it makes.
Night time snacking!!! I need to stop it - I much all evening when I'm upstairs. Not bad things, all things I'm allowed but things would probably be better if I did nt do it - its a bad habit I got into a long long time ago. Confession time! I used to fill a carrier bag full of treats to take up stairs with me to munch on while I was in bed watching tv! Hubby called it the shopping bag - chocolate, biscuits, youghurts, crisps, snack bars, the list goes on and on and I used to even wake up in the night and start munching - my hubby joked once that he thought we had mice cause he woke up in the middle of the night hearing russling paper and it took him a few seconds to realise it was me chomping away on chocolate!! He never seemed to react after that, just normal in our house but so out of control. Now I dont take anything up with me except a drink but I munch on good healthy stuff but my aim is to actually get out of that habit. Fingers crossed I'll find some good ideas to make a plan of action for how I can stop this.
Don't think I've ever mentioned that I think being fat is contagious! Look hear me out first lol - take my hubby for example. He's gained about 18 or 19kgs since we have been together - No I haven't force fed him but my snacking and bad habbits seem to catch on. I certainly haven't been munching alone at night - I remember it well, big bags of cheese balls, full fat coke and boxes of ice lollies with some chocolate thrown in for good measure too. I guess his weight gain could be blamed paritally on me - I've kept the fridge full of tasty treats, full fat coke and dished him up huge servings of food - well I'm hoping that a side effect of my new 'healthy' living plan will be hubby losing a few pounds too :P
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