Summer is here! Week 15

Monday 21 June

Hallejuah!! Looks like summer is finally here, the weather today was just so nice, was able to get so much washing done despite feeling pretty lethargic and not in the mood to actually do anything so I was pottering the house doing odds and sods here and there - funny how some days I'm so energetic and other days even getting up is too much. I think its how I start the day that makes the difference. The days when I get up and start on the housework straight away, I'm pretty much on the day from morning til night but if I get up and start off having a coffee and sitting on the net I just don't seem to have the get up and go to get sorted!

I'm having a really fat day today! I look fat and feel so fat, lool duuuuh, that's cause I fat!! I'm sure other circular people will identify with this, some days when I'm dieting I feel like I've lost stones and stones, I'm slender (ish) and everything looks good on me, think the word is dillusional (sorry about my spelling). Other days I look at me and see my mountains of blubber and hate everything I wear and how I look! Strangely, there is a connection between having a good day food wise and feeling I'm looking radiant, when I've had bad days I just feel like such a loser and failure and that was me today!

I went well over my syns, don't want to count how many cause I don't want to know and I certainly don't want any of you lot to know either! denial is ignorance and in this case I would rather be ignorant! The scales are still showing in my favour but will have to wait to see what happens on weigh day!

I stayed home all day today, I love being home and am a true home lover. My friend who is staying for a few days is more of a get out and go person, by evening she went off for a walk, I'm more than happy to be in my 4 walls and just plod along. I think its just cause I'm lazy lol or I'm too fussy about the house to leave it and let it get messed up. This evening was bloody stressful with the youngest of my twin boys, he better hope he's reached puberty and this is a teenage mood swing cause if he has n't and it's going to get any worse than this, I'll be shipping him off to some remote island and will make a door frame and door for him so he can slam that as many times as he likes without worrying about the plaster around the door frame falling away!! Boys should come with a warning label or at least a refund policy with option to exchange, sheesh would have done with hoping on a plane some where tonight!!

Tuesday 22 June

The least said about today the better, food wise anyway, infact everything, was an awful day foodwise and an awful day stress wise.

It's my husbands fault - I ask him to buy packets of snack a jacks but he buys the big caramel ones and once that is opened I can't stop - I only wanted a couple of the bag ones! Had a really healthy lunch, spud u like jacket potato with beans and managed to resist a mcdonalds flurry but I wish I'd have had one now cause the day went from bad to worse. Got stressed in Next by some rude irate woman for simply asking if she was waiting in the queue and got a mouthful for the priviledge - 'I'm not standing here for the fun of it you know' talk about major attitude problem, she gave another shitty remark a little later and I so wanted to mouth back but I was n't going to sink to her level - she's probably got a crappy husband, bless, she can't help it can she!

Haydar went to nursery in big boy pants!! My baby is growing up way way to fast and I'm not like it at all - I want him to stay the age he is, stops me getting more grey hairs and having to admit that I'm near on 40 - over 3 years ago, forgive me for my exagerations.

We've bought a new mattress for our bed, its finally on the bed and how high is it!! Think I'm going to need a step ladder like the princess and the pea. It's feeling rather strange, it's so much harder than the one I slept on before but dont know if that was just because it had been slept in it for a while and had softened a little. I've certainly made my mark on it, when I get off it, it looks one of those craters you see on the moon lol.

Right I'm off to catch some snoozes and will write to you again tomorrow my luvlies xxx

Wednesday 23rd June

The day started off going according to plan - had lovely beans on WW toast and some fruit and I stayed on track till the football started! My friend and I sat in the lounge, pepsi max, ice and a slice, snack a jacks and alpen light bars but ended up going a bit mad with them cause of all the excitement.
Ended up treating myself to a Magnum and a whispa and to be honest, and I really mean it, I bought myself two whispas but only had one and really did n't enjoy it that much!
Tomorrow is another day and I really do need to get back on track - I'm deffinately expecting a gain this week just hope its minimal. My friend went back to manchester this evening so I've no excuse now to not be following the plan. I feel really bad about it but not bad enough to sabotague my weightloss plan. I will pull this back and have a good week. I treated myself to loads of new scarves in the shopping mall, looking forward to getting them out and wearing them along with my new skirts. I'm not really feeling the whole maxi dress thing on me, too small on top to fill them for the size I need to fit on the bottom so figure that skirts are the best option for me.
Oh today was the first full day of potty training and my son is a suprestar, no other way of saying it - he got up in the morning and asked for his nappy to be taken off and from then on he went to the toilet every time he needed the loo and no accidents at all, not even at nursery. Is it really going to be this easy? Time will tell I guess.
Right me lovlies, I'm shattered, had way too many late nights while my friend was here and I'm really feeling it now. Sweet dreams xxx



Thursday 24th June

I'm my own worst enemy for sure - started off badly with a pack of walkers prawn cocktail crisps but accepted that and decided to syn them, not sure how many syns though, will have to check but I'd say 8 or 9 to be on the safe side..... Made a good choice, was really in the mood for snacking but decided to make myself one of my triple sandwiches, so far so good and I stayed good really till after getting the kids from school - had one bag of snack a jacks which turned into 4 bags, I'm not buying them any more, they are far too dangerous to have in the house - then had 2 alpen light bars, again not buying them again, want to avoid temptation and by not having the temptation in the house is the best way for me! Then had 2 small squares of corned beef (was making corned beef hash for the kids for dinner) and omg how bad is that, so so fatty, can't believe that at one point corned beef was free on the SW plan, it was many moons ago - don't even want to think about how many syns are in that!
Headed off to my group expecting to hope for damage limitation and guess what........ I lost 6.5 pounds, how amazing is that. All I can think of, is that last weeks perfect week when I lost 2.5 pounds has shown up this week. I was so chuffed but ever so slightly bemused and a bit embarrassed by the attention I recieved for getting slimmer of the week, slimmer of the month and my 3.5 stone award. I'm not good at recieving attention, in a group of people like that I'd rather just melt into the background but having said that, this week was n't all bad really, did n't have mad binges on chocolate etc, will just have to see what happens next week...... I've lost 50lbs in total now, that sounds alot does n't it and I'm mightily pleased with that - hoping that by the time I've lost the next 50lbs there is a significant difference in how I look cause I'm not seeing much difference myself and was rather disheartened to try on a new top in a size 32 and it wasn't happening, was way too tight on my tummy and I got a bit frustrated. Then on the other side I went to Asda today and picked up my first thing I've ever been able to buy from there, a red cardigan - you know the thin ones with the uneven hem and that was only in a size 24 - I say only, it still looks like I could make a 4 berth tent out of it but I was so happy. I think sizing is totally different depending which store you buy from. Then came home and went shopping mad on line for lots of nice tops which I hope to shrink into during the next few months - my hubby would kill me if he knew lol, spent about £200 on stuff that I dont know how long I'm going to be in them. Mind you I think that with tops you can keep on wearing them while you are shrinking, they will just get baggier and baggier, its jeans and trousers that could be the problem, constantly hitching them up or wearing a belt to tie them round your waist.
Oh while I remember, the significance of the picture of the icecream cone is that I made some syn free icecream over the weekend with yoghurt, fromage frais and splenda with some bananas chopped into it and it looked and tasted deliscious.
Righty my luvlies, off to get some shut eye ready for a new start tomorrow - oops not sure how that will go, might have to wait till saturday as I'm out for dinner tomorrow night but I'm sure I can go for damage limitation and have sensible choices and not go mad on things that will be laced with syns! Can't remember the last time I was let out to play in the evening so I'm deffinately not going to make myself miserable by not eating anything.
xxx


Friday 25th June


I kept myself really busy today cause I feel like I've been losing grip a bit lately and getting slightly lazy - don't get me wrong I'm not sitting on the couch all day long watching day time tv but I've let the ironing build up a bit, usually do it every day so that does n't happen so after a good clean up this morning I tackled the ironing. Haydar's still doing fantastically with the toilet training, no accidents it just takes patience when you are trying to get on with things but he's such a star, did n't think it would be this easy.
I popped into Asda on the way back from dropping Haydar at nursery and then came home and crashed out on the couch - as usual, when I try to have a nap the phone rang and someone knocked on the door and then was just nodding off again when the kids came home from school arghhhhhhhh no rest for the wicked.
My mum popped over, she's such a star cause we needed extra deep sheets for our new memory foam mattress and I'd only found them for more than £30 each and she found them for £19.99. She had been to the Yorkshire Woman of the year awards as one of the ladies that worked with her, now retired and worked selflessy for 35 with the people in the hospice. There was a gift bag for every one on their chairs, makeup and mum passed it to me - a lovely mascara and foundation that was so dark it left a stain on my hand when I rubbed some in! I'm assuming its for people with black skin but I've never seen foundation that dark!! It resembled coffee granules it was so dark - needless to say I aint using it haha
I had really sad news today - my best friends daughter has been diagnosed with bone cancer so I had quite a few tears over that cause no child should suffer like that and when its so close to home it comes as so much as a shock - it's always something that happens to other people not your own kids or kids of your friends. She goes into hospital in Birmingham on Sunday for a biopsy and more scans to see exactly what we are dealing with. I pray it's not spread and that the treatment for this will be as easy on her as possible.
I had arranged to go to a friends house for dinner as she was having a ladies get together but was thinking not to go but I'm glad I did, it made me stop thinking about my friends daughter for a while and I actually had a good time. I was so so good with the food - nothing was really Slimming World friendly so I had the tiniest portion of shepherds pie with salad, and NO cake or Deserts - how focused am I :)
Night Night my lovelies, its time for me to get my beauty sleep, not that I need it cause I'm down right bloody gorgeous!!!


Saturday 26th June


Actually had a bit of a lie in tonight, Mo Mo has taken Haydar to London for the weekend so its very peaceful here. Did a bit of cleaning up and then decided to head down to the cellar as we have had a leak in there and most of the stuff down there has got damp, including all the baby pictures of my 5 eldest kids - gutted does nt even cut it, I've had to throw loads away but I did manage to salvage alot of them but I'm going to get a skip hired to get rid of most of the stuff down there cause it's all been ruined. I know I've got more pictures but probably did n't see them cause they were buried by loads of crap.
I'm a shoe a holic!!! I've got about 50 pairs and I found a box in the cellar that had shoe boxes in it and I was wondering why I would keep shoe boxes till I opened them up and the boxes and each box had a brand new pair of shoes in them - OMG! that is so bad but it was like I'd gone on a shoe shopping spree cause there were shoes there that I can't even remember buying.
I headed off to Warrington to go and see my friend and daughter and I can't believe how focused and good I was with my healthy eating plan. In the morning I had a couple of Alpen Light Bars, a milky coffee and a fat free yoghurt oh and a solero. On the way to Warrington I snacked on melon and a couple of bananas. After I'd been in my friends house for a while we took a walk to tesco express and I hunted for something suitable for me to eat and ended up buying a tin of heinz spaghetti and a 400g loaf of brown bread and had 2 pieces with spaghetti on top and had another solero. Said no to cake and other naughty things which considering the situation would have been so easy to use it as an excuse to eat crap. Kids are so strong, they amaze me. My friends girl is 12 and she is amazing, no tears, big smile on her face and laughing and joking like nothing was wrong - from where do these kids find this strength.
Right I'm shattered after my day and can feel my eyes
getting heavy so good night my luvlies, sweet dreams xxx


Sunday 27th June

The least said the better me thinks!!! Over paid inflated egos and proud to be English??? WTF boys hang yoursleves in shame - not least because you totally shamed yourselves with that defeat from the bloody germans but more so becuase you were nearly responsible for me, a SW member going right off the rails and reaching for the chocolate bars and icecream!! Suffice to say your bloody lucky that I have so much more staying power than you lot and I will not be coming home, I will be staying till the end!! Hitting target, more than you bloody imbeciles could do!!

Rant over, we will from this point no longer mention the football! Oh except to laugh at the loonies that have painted the English flags on their houses, you must be feeling so gutted, morons, could have told you not to bother, history tells us we are crap in international competitons!!

I'm such a bloody good girl! Stayed on plan, had all my syns and HEX choices but all things considered that was some achievement.

I even vibrated for a full hour today, don't know where the motivation for that came from but I did it and I felt it too. It's so bloody warm, no I'm not complaining (much) but its not funny when you trying to do your housework and you have to move in the heat - I much prefer the beached whale look, rosy red cheeks, skin burning and spread out all over a blanket on the grass! Shhheeeesh not a pretty thought I have to admit myself - nearest I get to outside is on the back patio on the table and chairs with the washing blowing all around me, I jest not!

New week tomorrow, wonder what weight loss it will bring, I've been good but I'm still thinking I might pay for last week some how - we shall see.

Right I'm off to toss and turn a bit, I've always been a tosser (now now, we are talking bum and rest of me on matress here, I'm not insulting myself!) and I'm even worse when the weather is like this.

Oh one more thing, Hubby is ill, and don't we all bloody know it!! What is it with men when they get a bit of a cold, suddenly they are dying - actually I'm suprised he did n't bloody die the amount of blankets he had over him, could have cooked an egg on him how warm he was. No doubt this won't be the last I (or you) hear about it!!

Night night my lovlies xxxx