On a roll!! Week 17

Monday 5th July

Woke up this morning and tried to motivate myself to get moving and do some housework and I did quite well today - decided to attack my wardrobes, the two upstairs bathrooms and my bedroom - needless to say I did n't get downstairs till about 2pm and then I attacked the ironing till about 7!! Still got loads of stuff to catch up on but slowly slowly.

It's funny how our view on things change - I sorted all my clothes out today - more than 30 pairs of jeans I've got which is totally rediculous and I know now with the weight that I've lost I can get into probably all of them except 3 pairs but I've no desire to wear them. I used to love my jeans but for some reason I've decided that they make me look bigger and I've took them all out of my wardrobe and put them away in a drawer. I was looking at old pictures of myself today and to be honest, there aren't that many body shots cause I've always done my damndest to avoid having them taken but there are a few horrors lurking out there and in most of them I'm wearing jeans and I look more than awful - my legs are huge and I now don't think it's a good look at all. Think I'm liking sticking to my long gypsy skirts, new to me for sure, my trousers and long tops and maxi dresses - funny how our tastes change. Think I might even put all my jeans up on ebay to get rid of them - well might keep a couple of favourite pairs but don't think I'll be wearing them.

I've put together a few pictures for me to refer to for my before and after (when I get there) pics and they are horrendous, I'm so looking forward to say 6 months from now cause there will be a huge difference by then - its really exciting, good times ahead!

Right, nothing much more to say, just going to chill out and watch some tv I think before trying to sleep, I'm shattered.

Good night my lovlies xxx

Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday

I have n't posted here for a few days cause I've been feeling pretty down and miserable and not motivated to do anything at all really. I've not been on plan at all, I've eaten pretty much what I want when I want it. It's down to shear laziness. I've been wallowing in self pity all week but one thing that I have noticed - it's not a small thing either, its huge, huge for me. In my past when I've been down and miserable I'd have eaten exactly what I wanted and I'd have headed for the biscuits, sweets, chocolate, icecream and so on but I've not done that at all. I've eaten things like extra alpen light bars or snack a jacks. When I say I've totally been off plan, thinking about it now, I have n't really eaten 'bad' stuff just more than what I should have been eating of other stuff so my half pound gain at SW probably was quite realistic.

I'm going to do things very differently next week - lots of salad, vegetable stews etc and see if it makes a difference - I'm not a great veg fan, medeterranean veg etc but the more I eat them then I guess I'm going to get more used to them so that's my plan - will see how it turns out x


Friday 9th July

I've turned the corner - today was a really successful day in more ways than one! Food wise it was great, I stuck to what I was planning and had a day full of veg and fruit - did a really nice vegetable stew with cous cous for dinner and although I admit I really was n't looking fowrard to it - courgettes just don't do it for me - don't think they taste of much but they just look so crap when they are cooked but I have to admit I loved it and would deffinately make it again. Even hubby ate it, his kgs are dropping off too so this new lifestyle is good for him too - I say new life style but its hard to believe it's already been 4 months since we started it, or I started, he started following a while later and is slowly getting there. It's pretty much normal now, I no longer think in terms of chocolate and crap, can't rememeber the last time I even craved a chocolate bar or a full tub of icecream. Tastes have changed, I can't say it will be forever but it's happening now and that is all I live for - take each day as it comes and each day that is a success brings me to a healthier future.

I used to worry about peoples attitudes towards me after my bypass when I 'failed' yet again. Used to think they must think I'm a waste of space that I can't even lose weight after a second wls - that 6 stone that dropped off so quickly should have been the key to me carrying on with the loss but in truth that 6 stone was recovery weightloss. You physically can't eat after surgery so you are going to lose weight but after a few months that changes and after so long on mush it is so easy to start that slipperly slope again. Mine started with a wotsit!! A bloody wotsit :( Pinched one of Haydar's then it was oh one more won't hurt and bang, off I went. All kinds of crap started creeping back in and I stopped standing on the scales and once I was back on the full fat coke I knew the whole thing was going to be a disaster! The surgery was n't for me, I admit it although I did have to have surgery done to correct the damage that had been done from the first surgery and that has had a positive effect. At least now I can eat proper food - still not great with meat but I can eat most other things, true not in the vast quantities that i would often like and some things are more easy on the tum than others but I can no longer use the 'I can't eat good stuff' as an excuse cause I can and I do now - yeah I DO!!!!! If I can stick to keeping more of this fresh food in my diet, food cooked from scratch and not out of a tin it will just keep getting more and more better. I do see a point where I'll be able to practically eat anything, including meat, don't think it will ever be in large quantities but it would be nice to be able to have a chicken breast or a home cooked burger here and there - wow I could even have the odd Red day, I have n't done a red day since the first time I did slimming world just after my youngest twins were born!!

I was feeling so much more positive today - did n't spend the day wallowing, got up and did the stuff I needed to do and felt so much better for it - it shows how easy it is to sink into depression - it's been nearly 2 weeks when I've been feeling down and I could so easily have continued with that had I have not shook myself up today - I'm not going there again, I know how it feels to be at rock bottom and I've got so much to be happy and greatful for in my life that I won't go there again!! It's strange how actually getting up and doing things, even if it's things we don't like
such as house work and food shopping.

We went out to Costco in the evening, gosh I have n't been there in ages but we needed to get a few things that mum wanted before we dropped Adham off for the weekend. Yaz & Chris came with us cause they wanted to see mum too and we stayed there quite late, till around 11 or so then dropped Chris off home before taking Yaz to Tesco - it's her and Chris' anniversary tomorrow so they are going to scarborough for the day - who said romance is dead???

Anyway I'm thinking from now on I'm going to put a food diary on here so I can keep a track of what I'm eating and where I'm going wrong so for today it was

Breakfast Gala Melon and Coffee
Lunch Tuna Salad with 2 Boiled eggs and Heinz extra light Salad cream (2 syns)
Dinner Moroccan Vegetable Stew with Cous Cous

Snacks through the day - fat free yoghurt, banana, cherries, lychees and Strawberries.

Saturday 10th July

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaha another good day for me!! I always feel so motivated and good when I've made good choices and eaten good foods.

I kept myself really busy today, di dn't plan to but started sorting out my utility room and it went on from there. Ended up totally rearranging my dining room and it looks so much better, really happy with it now. Even took the curtains and swag down and washed them - how good am I!!!

Hubby has gone o ut for the evening, taken the boys to see the Eclipse so I'm having a chill out with Haydar and Leila cause Yaz is at Chris' house for the night. Leila did n't want to go cause she's going to see it with Yaz and her dad next weekend and did n't want to spoil their plans. Think I'm going to enjoy my tea and then head off and have a bath, been ages since I did that, usually prefer to have a nice cool shower in this weather but just fancying a soak.

right think that's it for the day -

Today's food diary is as follows



Breakfast Coffee made with SS Milk then a little later Cherries & Water Melon
Lunch Moroccan vegetable stew with white rice
Dinner Jacket potato with baked beans and tuna fish
Snacks in the day Peaches, Cherries, Melon, fat free yoghurt.

Sunday 11th July

I'm deffinately on a roll and feeling grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeat!! Despite not sleeping that well last night, naughty boys playing with their toys all bloody night (computer and laptops!!) and making too much noise was the main reason for that, I still managed to have a positive and upbeat day. Again I kept really busy, spent loads of hours doing the ironing and inbetween that mending some trousers etc that needed fixing. They've only needed doing for about 6 months. Actually wasted my time cause one pair was fixed and ironed and then had to go in the too big pile, they almost fell to the ground when I put them on - oh yeahhh oh yeahhhh!!

Food wise I was really good again - lots of super free speed foods, beans, vegetables, kidney beans etc - very good for the slimming world plan but not sure that it's so good for my bowels lol - never pooped so much in my life, I better have a good loss this week or ther will be trouble :P

I was naughty today - despite not really needing any new clothes - oh except knickers cause mine are all one size, HUGE! and they keep falling down, I had a bit of a shopping spree and spent about £250 on some new clothes. Did buy some of them in smaller sizes but bought a few in the size I'm in now but thats ok cause they will last for a long while - you can get away with wearing bigger tops but not trousers etc. Can't wait for the stuff to come, I treated myself to some really nice outfits and it will be good to buy clothes that I can actually fit into intsed of buying things, trying them on and them being too small and shoving them to the back of the wardrobe thinking, they'll fit me one day huh, I've got clothes in my wardrobe that I bought 3 years ago and did n't fit and I did that - couple more stone and they should be fine - I'm terrible, I never like to send things back hence why I've got more clothes than I'm actually happy to admit to.

So what was on the menu today?

Breakfast Coffee made with SS Milk, Peaches and Water melon
Lunch Baked Beans with 2 eggs fried in frylight
Dinner Syn Free Sweet Chilli with Jacket Potato

Snacks Hifi Bar (HEX B) Kellogs Fibre Extra Bar (HEX B) Peaches, Banana, Pommegranite, Boiled Egg, Melon.